In high school I was hospitalized with viral meningitis. Those were the hardest days of my life (I haven't had kids yet:) I literally thought I was going to die.
I think about it often... but it's strange. I only remember bits and pieces. I think I was hospitalized for about 4 days, but I can only remember one night. Here are some events my brain chose to remember.
My mom was driving me to the emergency room and my head hurt so badly that every corner felt like my brains were going to explode out of my ears. I think I made her slow down to 10 miles an hour to exit the freeway. Just shortly after exiting, I made her pull over so I could nicely throw up all over the sidewalk. (btw.. imagine the worst headache ever... then retching to vomit... ouch!)
Next I remember getting a lot of pain medication and being obtunded. The doctor decided to discharge me home with the diagnosis of a migraine. I knew something else was wrong but I was too drugged up to protest.
Later that night came round two in the ER. The nurse was trying to triage me but my head hurt so bad I refused to talk. All I would do was moan and use hand signals. That pretty much got me sent straight back.
Next came the spinal tap. All I remember of that was my mom- which it seemed at the time to be an inch away from my face - telling me I had to stay awake. If I would have had the strength I would have told her to get out of my face, I wasn't sleeping, my eyes were just closed, quit talking!!!!! (Sorry Mom. Couldn't have done that night without you)
Next came watching ceiling lights roll by (I was on the way to the floor) and everyone all gowned up and masked. Now that doesn't seem weird to me but at the time I felt like I was being treated like an alien.
My last but not least memory, is of my sweet boyfriend, Jesse. I was so drowsy and sick but he told me I had to eat. So he forced me to eat a biscuit. Needless to say I threw it up. Apparently he never left my side but that is the only memory I have of him being there.
I was there for four days for crying out loud. How in the world does our brain pick which moments to hold on to? Does your mind ever wander and you recall the most random memories? Memories that aren't even significant? Like your brain is a car and it's just backfiring - spitting out exhaust fumes that no one wants to see.
But then other times, you can't remember where you put your sunglasses. "I put them in a special place so I wouldn't lose them. Damnit, where is that special place???"
The human mind is so beyond comprehension. Let's think about this statement. You wonder (think) how your brain works (thinks). I'm thinking about how I'm thinking. And for the life of me I don't know how I'm thinking, or why I'm thinking, or sometimes even what I'm thinking. Bizzaro!
I think about it often... but it's strange. I only remember bits and pieces. I think I was hospitalized for about 4 days, but I can only remember one night. Here are some events my brain chose to remember.
My mom was driving me to the emergency room and my head hurt so badly that every corner felt like my brains were going to explode out of my ears. I think I made her slow down to 10 miles an hour to exit the freeway. Just shortly after exiting, I made her pull over so I could nicely throw up all over the sidewalk. (btw.. imagine the worst headache ever... then retching to vomit... ouch!)
Next I remember getting a lot of pain medication and being obtunded. The doctor decided to discharge me home with the diagnosis of a migraine. I knew something else was wrong but I was too drugged up to protest.
Later that night came round two in the ER. The nurse was trying to triage me but my head hurt so bad I refused to talk. All I would do was moan and use hand signals. That pretty much got me sent straight back.
Next came the spinal tap. All I remember of that was my mom- which it seemed at the time to be an inch away from my face - telling me I had to stay awake. If I would have had the strength I would have told her to get out of my face, I wasn't sleeping, my eyes were just closed, quit talking!!!!! (Sorry Mom. Couldn't have done that night without you)
Next came watching ceiling lights roll by (I was on the way to the floor) and everyone all gowned up and masked. Now that doesn't seem weird to me but at the time I felt like I was being treated like an alien.
My last but not least memory, is of my sweet boyfriend, Jesse. I was so drowsy and sick but he told me I had to eat. So he forced me to eat a biscuit. Needless to say I threw it up. Apparently he never left my side but that is the only memory I have of him being there.
I was there for four days for crying out loud. How in the world does our brain pick which moments to hold on to? Does your mind ever wander and you recall the most random memories? Memories that aren't even significant? Like your brain is a car and it's just backfiring - spitting out exhaust fumes that no one wants to see.
But then other times, you can't remember where you put your sunglasses. "I put them in a special place so I wouldn't lose them. Damnit, where is that special place???"
The human mind is so beyond comprehension. Let's think about this statement. You wonder (think) how your brain works (thinks). I'm thinking about how I'm thinking. And for the life of me I don't know how I'm thinking, or why I'm thinking, or sometimes even what I'm thinking. Bizzaro!
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