I was recently inspired by a YouTube video I saw on Facebook. It was a time lapse of a father at home with his young son on "Daddy duty". It showed them tearing the house apart, pulling every toy out of the toy box, climbing on the furniture, and making a huge mess for Mom to clean up after work. I originally thought the point of the video was to show how men aren't as neat and orderly as women. (I must confess my ADD didn't let me finish the video and I missed the part where the Dad cleaned all the toys. The actual point was the Mom didn't think the father played with his son as he left behind no trace of their adventures. But for this blog to make sense let's just assume the video ended where my ADD kicked in).
As I was saying... The Dad makes a big mess for mom to clean up, proving that Dads can't keep a clean house AND the children alive while Mom is at work. I could completely relate to this video as after my 14 hrs away at work I come home to a war zone. Based off the food trail in the kitchen I can tell exactly what the kids had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Just like the video, every toy is scattered throughout the house, the diaper pail is overflowing, there are fresh milk spills on the couches, the kids are sleeping in the same pajamas as the night before, and the bathroom looks like... Well... You can imagine.
But that judgement about Dads not being able to do it all, quickly faded and I formed a new respect for this video. When I watched it for the second time (still not to the end) I took careful observation of the Dad's activities. Not ONCE did it show the Dad looking at his phone, looking at his iPad, or turning on the TV. Instead the Dad filled his sons day with exciting activities. He transformed the laundry basket into a basketball hoop, chased his son around the house playing tag and tickling him, and the grown man even climbed into the small bounce house to further be closer and enjoy the presence of his son.
The key word here is "presence". I have thought about this video everyday since watching it with a pit of conviction in my stomach. In this age of electronics and "go go go" I have lost the ability to be truly present with my children. It is nearly impossible for me to do one activity at a time and I must be constantly multitasking. I feel a compulsion to check my phone, look at the weather, look on Facebook, see if there's any new pictures on Instagram, check my Pinterest for new ideas, and so on and so on. And it's not always related to electronics. My "to do" list also involves loading the dishwasher, mopping the floors, folding the laundry, vacuuming, etc.
I find myself far too often telling Elliott, "Just a minute, I'm almost done, I can play with you after I (insert task here)." I feel the unnecessary need to keep a clean-ish house, keep myself busy, and check my meaningless social medias. If the kids are crazy and interfering with my tasks I simply turn on the TV and I have 30 minutes of zombie children leaving me with nothing but free time to complete my tasks.
But what kind of childhood is this for my children? That pit of conviction I spoke of earlier tells me that I can do better. I can be better. And through accomplishing greatness as parents our children will thrive. Jesse and I chose to have these 3 small blessings and God has given us the great responsibility to not screw it up. Yet I can't help but feel that some days I am.
Being a Mother is my primary career in life. These small beings are clay and it's my job to form them. Would I play Candy Crush at work while my patient's blood pressure was plummeting? Would I chose to mop the floor instead of help a patient to the bathroom? Never! So why am I allowing myself to put the needs of myself and the house before my children at home? The floor can be messy, the carpet can be soiled, and I don't need to see who is doing what on Facebook! I should be making a laundry basket into a basketball hoop, chasing the kids around tickling them, and climbing into their bounce house. This time with them is precious and I'm squandering it. I want nothing more than for them to look back in their childhood with fond memories and stories.
So as Mothers Day approaches and I think of the video of the amazing Father creating memories with his son... I am committing to be more like him. I know some days with three young children will be harder than others and I will allow myself to be selfish when I'm overwhelmed. But I am stronger than I give myself credit for and I know I can do better. Please don't misinterpret this blog... I think I am a good mom so don't leave comments trying to cheer me up. There's no doubt in my mind my kids love their lives and would give me "Mom of the year award." But they're about to see me live up to that title.
As I was saying... The Dad makes a big mess for mom to clean up, proving that Dads can't keep a clean house AND the children alive while Mom is at work. I could completely relate to this video as after my 14 hrs away at work I come home to a war zone. Based off the food trail in the kitchen I can tell exactly what the kids had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Just like the video, every toy is scattered throughout the house, the diaper pail is overflowing, there are fresh milk spills on the couches, the kids are sleeping in the same pajamas as the night before, and the bathroom looks like... Well... You can imagine.
But that judgement about Dads not being able to do it all, quickly faded and I formed a new respect for this video. When I watched it for the second time (still not to the end) I took careful observation of the Dad's activities. Not ONCE did it show the Dad looking at his phone, looking at his iPad, or turning on the TV. Instead the Dad filled his sons day with exciting activities. He transformed the laundry basket into a basketball hoop, chased his son around the house playing tag and tickling him, and the grown man even climbed into the small bounce house to further be closer and enjoy the presence of his son.
The key word here is "presence". I have thought about this video everyday since watching it with a pit of conviction in my stomach. In this age of electronics and "go go go" I have lost the ability to be truly present with my children. It is nearly impossible for me to do one activity at a time and I must be constantly multitasking. I feel a compulsion to check my phone, look at the weather, look on Facebook, see if there's any new pictures on Instagram, check my Pinterest for new ideas, and so on and so on. And it's not always related to electronics. My "to do" list also involves loading the dishwasher, mopping the floors, folding the laundry, vacuuming, etc.
I find myself far too often telling Elliott, "Just a minute, I'm almost done, I can play with you after I (insert task here)." I feel the unnecessary need to keep a clean-ish house, keep myself busy, and check my meaningless social medias. If the kids are crazy and interfering with my tasks I simply turn on the TV and I have 30 minutes of zombie children leaving me with nothing but free time to complete my tasks.
But what kind of childhood is this for my children? That pit of conviction I spoke of earlier tells me that I can do better. I can be better. And through accomplishing greatness as parents our children will thrive. Jesse and I chose to have these 3 small blessings and God has given us the great responsibility to not screw it up. Yet I can't help but feel that some days I am.
Being a Mother is my primary career in life. These small beings are clay and it's my job to form them. Would I play Candy Crush at work while my patient's blood pressure was plummeting? Would I chose to mop the floor instead of help a patient to the bathroom? Never! So why am I allowing myself to put the needs of myself and the house before my children at home? The floor can be messy, the carpet can be soiled, and I don't need to see who is doing what on Facebook! I should be making a laundry basket into a basketball hoop, chasing the kids around tickling them, and climbing into their bounce house. This time with them is precious and I'm squandering it. I want nothing more than for them to look back in their childhood with fond memories and stories.
So as Mothers Day approaches and I think of the video of the amazing Father creating memories with his son... I am committing to be more like him. I know some days with three young children will be harder than others and I will allow myself to be selfish when I'm overwhelmed. But I am stronger than I give myself credit for and I know I can do better. Please don't misinterpret this blog... I think I am a good mom so don't leave comments trying to cheer me up. There's no doubt in my mind my kids love their lives and would give me "Mom of the year award." But they're about to see me live up to that title.
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