Parenting Is Hard

I remember the good ol' pre-kids days, or PK as we've been calling it. Days where I'd see kids in Walmart screaming for candy, or running wild down grocery store isles, or wearing the most hideous outfits with dirty faces and ratty hair. I proudly pushed my childless cart through the store taking my sweet ass time looking at all the wonders Walmart had to offer... wait... maybe Target. My freshly showered self, clothed in name brand clothes that were bought from a store, where I actually tried them on, thought "I will NEVER let my kids behave/look like that!" Jesse and I are going to be the best parents in the world. They'll be adorable, well mannered, and wear whatever we tell them to.

Well... one out of 3 ain't too shabby. But seriously I was so clueless! I wish I could go back in time and soften all those evil glances I shot at parents I didn't approve of. (Now don't get me wrong, some parents are literally screwing up their children) But you cannot possibly glean this information from a 60 second snapshot into their lives.

As a mother of three young children I can say that public outings, especially shopping, are one of the most stressful things. Elliott wants to look and touch every single thing. Easton wants to run, chase, hide, and explore. And poor Owen just does NOT want to be strapped down in the cart while his two siblings get to run a muck. And this is all normal behavior for children. Their wild! They want to explore, run, play, learn, and have fun. They don't want to sit quietly in a dressing room while their mom tries on clothes (now you see why I haven't set foot in a dressing room unless I bribed someone to help me in about 2.5 years).

For the majority of the time my kids are pretty well behaved. They might get a little crazy now and then, and then, and then... but I'm usually able to avoid any major meltdowns or catastrophes in public. But SHOCKER, I'm not perfect, neither are my children, and neither is anyone else. Sometimes I have a screaming child in the store who really wanted an Elsa swimsuit. Sometimes I tell then "No" to candy but give in because I'm breaking out in a dead sweat from all the disapproving eyes as they throw a huge tantrum. And sometimes I look away for a second and one child is God knows where. And today at the gym I literally had to spank Easton and carry his screaming little toddler self over my shoulder to the car.

But today I didn't feel ashamed or embarrassed because I was surrounded by people who were supportive. I believe support is the number one thing a parent needs to be successful. Let me say it again in case you are skimming this... support is the most important thing you can offer a parent! We don't need advice, we don't need dirty glances, we don't need sighs and rude comments, we need someone who can say, "Hey, this is a hard job and I can see you care about it. You're doing a good job. What can I do to help?"

Please please please remember this and think about me if you see a mom or child in their 60 worst seconds of the day. Does this one moment measure their success as a "mom"?. Be supportive, try and understand their situation, give them the benefit of the doubt, and don't throw them into the gorillas den.